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| Ariel Sinclair & Porsche Welcome Summer in Ice Palace Double-Header, with Nancy Witter as Featured Comic |
by Bruce-Michael Gelbert
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On June 21, the day of the summer solstice, the Ice Palace presented Ariel Sinclair's rollicking first Kamikaze Kabaret of the season, featuring popular comic Nancy Witter, followed by dynamic singer Porsche's show. Chuck was DJ for the full evening.
In glitzy cowgirl drag, Ariel opened with a country number assuring, "that's what I like about you," changed to red and black for a Latin-flavored "Fever" and numbered, among the top toys you don't want, Scrabble for dyslexics and tranny Barbie, who grows a beard when you push on her belly button.
A host of comics opened for Witter, including Hahn ("I've been working at nightclubs for so long that, when I die, there's going to be a cover charge at my wake ... and they'll set up a bar on my coffin"); David Hodorowski, who demonstrated his acting training by offering his impression of a cheap umbrella in rain and high wind on Fire Island and contrasted shopping in a Midwestern supermarket (polite) with shopping in one in Brooklyn (rude); Carolanne Doda, who confided she got drunk enough to perform her x-rated version of "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot like Me" at her niece's communion, for 20 seven-year-olds, and wondered how long a support group meeting for people who stutter lasts; Brad Lovely, who dubbed an aging tranny "Trannysaurus Rex;" and Michael Brill. At Ariel's "world famous joke-off contest," Witter's daughter, Annie, won with a dumb blonde joke.
Noting that, in less informed days, pregnant mothers drank and smoked and then breastfed, Witter said, "Technically, I had my first White Russian when I was four hours old." After she shelled a small fortune at a noted diet center, its representative asked her, "What do you realistically expect to lose at Jenny Craig?" and she answered, "$750, not including food." Witter realized she was hormonally deprived when she found that "I sweat like George Bush on 'Am I Smarter than a Fifth Grader?'"
Porsche then took the stage, pouring out her heart singing some dramatic Shirley Bassey ("Diamonds Are Forever"), Barbra Streisand ("My Man"), Janis Joplin ("Piece of My Heart"), and, in honor of LGBT Pride, Judy Garland ("Over the Rainbow").
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